FAMILY THERAPY

-Is your family arguing a lot?

-Or having difficulty to adjust to a new family situation or divorce?

-Do you have disagreements about money or work-life balance?

-Is it hard to deal with your in-laws?

-Has your family experienced a loss or illness?

-Are mental health or drug/alcohol problems affecting your family?

-Do you feel not appreciated or understood at home?

-Is parenting challenging?

- Are your children showing behavioral issues?

Every family member is like a part or piece of a whole system. You can think of a family as a machine that needs all its parts to be working well to function properly. 

When one or more parts are not functioning well, the whole system starts failing. 

Family counseling doesn't try to blame any family member or part of the system, but rather figure out how the patterns of interaction between the parts may be maintaining the problem and how the parts can function together to improve the system.

Families use different mechanisms to maintain stability. These mechanisms are good for survival; however, they can also stop a family from making changes that would be necessary to solve problems.

Some of the mechanisms that families use function like a home thermostat. If the room temperature is too cold, the thermostat would automatically turn-on the heather to bring the room- temperature to a set point.

At times, families unconsciously interact in ways that attempt to bring the family to a known balance or status quo (which they are also  familiar with).  

Our minds seem to be wired for survival. Since learning and creating new things could cost our brains too much neuronal energy and time, we form habits to repeat automatically what we do. This definitively makes our lives more practical. Imagine if we would have to design every day the way we brush our teeth... how efficient would that be to make it on-time to work?

We feel safe when things are familiar. The unknown tends to bring fear to our minds. This keep us alive as well, but it can also keep us from changing situations that are negative BUT familiar at the end. 

In a way, families strive to keep the same emotional level (temperature) they are familiar with, although sometimes their feedback mechanisms may interfere with their desired growth.

During counseling sessions, family members can be helped to understand what interactions are maintaining the problems and how the parts of the system could be moved to bring positive change.

It is a common to try to solve problems by talking with friends or family members. In fact, they are the best emotional support we usually find. But unfortunately, they do not always have the professional training necessary to understand the psychological causes of all our problems or what effective techniques we could utilize to cope with them.

-Problems are a normal part of life. Family counseling can help families learn problem-solving techniques to use when responding to daily circumstances or problems. 

When we interact inside a family, for good or for bad, we tend to repeat what we have learned in our childhood homes. Many of our behaviors and negative patterns of interaction, can even be tracked back some generations in our family tree. 

Big part of what our minds learn is through imitation. Research has shown that we have a primitive capacity to mimic the actions of others (another survival technique that seems to save brain-energy). It is easier to copy behaviors than creating new ones. 

Where did we learn how to be a parent, a son/daughter, or a sibling? Our main school was our family of origin. It requires a conscious effort to unlearn what we have internalized and to learn something different.

Counseling helps families gain awareness about their behaviors and opens a space to learn new ways to communicate, relate, and support each other.

One of the things that I enjoy the most as a Marriage and Family therapist, is seeing how family members are able to suddenly connect emotionally in a way that they have never connected before. 

Working as a therapist (and clinical supervisor) in both -the private and community mental health sectors, has exposed me to multiple families from diverse cultures. 

Being raised in Argentina (although from Lithuanian and Scottish descent) and residing in Los Angeles for the past 20+ years, has also enhanced my awareness of the differences between cultures and the implications that these diverse cultures have on peoples’ lives. 

During my counseling sessions, I look forward to learn each family's unique characteristics and values. Your family's believes will also be appreciated and respected during the therapy process. Are you ready to share yours?